I have been practicing yoga for more than 10 years. Writing this article, I hope that one day it will be read by a person who only thinks about yoga classes or someone who is faced with a choice whether to continue or not because of thoughts like: "A year has passed, and I am still not flexible.." or someone else who is looking for answers.
Little history. My childhood and youth were spent in the atmosphere of oppression, often fear, uncertainty about the future and self-doubt. As a result, at some point, after a failed suicide attempt, I decided to hide from society, from the pain and frustration in people and myself, and at the same time was strongly dependent on the opinion of each individual. Every now and then I ask myself what would have happened to me if I hadn't started practicing, and every time the answer comes up. A very sad response...
So, my yoga originates in the hopelessness of the maelstrom of negative events that are happening to me, and till this day I am grateful to the Universe for this truly priceless gift.
I compare the practice of yoga with a large spacious house with many rooms. Going there, opening the first door, you start to explore, move on, gradually opening more and more exciting, amazing rooms-spaces and each has its own world. Studying your big house, caring for it, ennobling it, you learn to open in moments of despondency the most necessary rooms, where there is always comfort and love, so that it does not happen outside the window. It is also necessary to remember about cleaning the closet and attic, and it is best to bring them to a state of comfortable pleasant areas. From each state there is a door to another state, just open it.
When yoga turns from a workout to a lifestyle, then many difficult, heavy doors open. Fear goes away and you receive the knowledge.
There are several reasons to start and continue indefinitely.
Most of my thoughts revolved around myself. My feeling of hunger, what I will wear today, how unhappy, ugly, unloved I am, what will happen to me tomorrow, how does this person treat me? And that person??? I, I, I, I've been thinking about me all the time. However it is a suffering, limited, null and void. The more I thought about myself, the more unhappy I became. Yoga opened up the world around me, letting go of your obsession, you begin to see the amazing, different world around you. How someone laughs, how a leaf falls, how someone needs help. Pay attention to what exists around you: there are those who need support, there are many important things to do, there are close people, and taking care of your environment, creatures on this planet is beauty, and this is true happiness.
It's not easy to face the truth, it's easier to drown in alcohol and cigarette smoke.
Yoga practice, as a strict but caring mother, takes me away from eating unhealthy food and suicidal decisions.
Indeed, it was only after taking up yoga that I realized that there is no limit to my physical abilities. My body feels no restrictions, it is constantly improving. There is no need to ask someone to carry my suitcase, move furniture, I can go to the mountains, swim across the lake, run long distances, lift my body in the air. I'm strong and I can do anything. Erasing the boundaries of the physical, you touch the vast.
Now I can't remember how many moments of intense stress and tension there were when I lost control during a panic attack, when I was driven mad, literally gutted, my own emotions were turned out. After connecting with my breath, taking a deep breath and letting it out smoothly, I remain calm. The ability to control the emotional response to aggression, lies, and betrayal dramatically improved relations with other people. The more you focus on your breath, the clearer your thoughts become. By the way, miraculously, my loved ones have become more patient with me.
All of us are constantly unsatisfied: our desires and their non-realization make us so. How often it was: we see something, and there is "I also need such a car" or "I should have such boots" or "if he does not love me, I will explode"... Yoga seems to bring me back to the question, why do you need this and why do you want it?? The answer comes naturally: I don't really need it.
There are so many things in the modern world and we are constantly distracted. There are smartphones, portable devices that will take you anywhere far away. Think about the last time there was a day without Facebook, Instagram, or TV? Every day, making conscious decisions, you can avoid the chaos and delirium imposed by society and allow yourself to focus on really important things, on what is happening now in front of your eyes, on your life, work, troubles, and people who are nearby. Yoga teaches me to be the person who is here and now.
Life is really very different. Today everything is fine, the sun is shining, and tomorrow something happens, it starts to rain, and everything is painted gray. This cyclicity is unchangeable, there will always be bad days. We can't control the difficulties in our lives, but we can react and solve them in different ways. Whatever it is, this is only part of our experience. Yoga and meditation don't make my life easy, but it's easier to make good, healthy decisions.
We are all religious, some wear a cross, some worship Allah. It is important whether there is faith. Yoga has sown awareness of the divine within, it is always with me. Whether I'm in a mosque or in a temple, walking down the street, tossing a coin to a beggar. Think about it, would my God do something like this? Try to put love in your heart and give it to everyone around you.
Then we will be truly divine!